In This Guide
How this guide is written
Sex between people with vulvas includes an enormous range of activities. This guide doesn't assume any particular configuration, act, or dynamic — it covers toys that work well for vulva-owner-to-vulva-owner sex across a range of what couples actually do.
The categories aren't ranked. What's best depends entirely on what you and your partner enjoy.
There's no 'lesbian sex toy' — there are toys that work well for sex between people with vulvas. Here's what actually works.
Strap ons and dildos
For penetrative sex between partners with vaginas, a harness-and-dildo setup gives one partner the ability to penetrate the other using their whole body. This is one of the most versatile configurations: the giving partner controls depth, angle, and pace; the receiving partner can simultaneously receive clitoral stimulation from the giving partner's hands or a positioned vibrator.
The harness setup works for any body size, shape, or strength. The dildo can be any harness-compatible design — realistic, curved, textured, or vibrating. See our harness guide and dildo guide for choosing components.
The Sportsheets Lush Adjustable Harness is machine washable, fits a very wide range of bodies, and holds dildos securely during active sex. It's the most recommended starter harness for a reason.
Strapless strap ons
A strapless strap on provides simultaneous penetration for both partners: the giving partner's internal bulb is held by their PC muscles while the shaft penetrates the receiving partner. Both partners are penetrated and stimulated by the same toy, simultaneously.
This is one of the most intimate configurations available — and has a steeper learning curve than a standard harness. The giving partner needs reasonably strong PC muscles to keep the internal bulb in place. See our full strapless guide for practical tips.
Dual stimulation vibrators
Wearable couples vibrators — the We-Vibe Sync 2, Chorus, and similar — are designed for use during penetrative sex, but they work equally well with a strap on setup: the giving partner (or receiving partner) wears the wearable vibe, providing clitoral stimulation throughout.
The We-Vibe Nova 2 deserves special mention: its flexible clitoral arm adjusts automatically to any anatomy, making it one of the most body-inclusive rabbit vibrators available. Works beautifully for solo play that a partner can join in on.
Remote control and app-controlled
App-controlled toys — Lovense Nora, Lovense Lush 4, We-Vibe Moxie — let partners share control of each other's stimulation. For lesbian couples, the control dynamic is particularly versatile: either partner can wear a remote-controlled toy while doing anything else. Works in the same room and across any distance.
The Lovense Nora is worth highlighting specifically: it's a rabbit vibrator with an app-controlled motor and a rotating shaft, designed to be controlled by a partner. Paired with Lovense Max 2 (for a male partner) or another Lovense toy, the app syncs the two toys to respond to each other's movements — a genuinely novel long-distance feature.
Solo toys used together
Many toys designed for solo use are equally good for partnered play. Two people each using a vibrator — or one partner using a vibrator while the other uses a strap on — is simply good sex. There's no category of toy that's off-limits for partnered use.
Clitoral vibrators, bullet vibrators, and suction toys like the rose vibrator all work well during strap on sex, oral sex, or manual stimulation. Treat your collection as a shared toolkit rather than separate solo/partnered categories.
Curated for You at Condom USA
FAQ
Do we need a strap on for good sex?
No — penetration is one option among many. The best toy is whatever you and your partner actually enjoy. Vibrators, suction toys, fingers, and mouths are all complete without penetration.
What's the best first toy for a new couple?
A good vibrator you can use together — either taking turns or using simultaneously — is the lowest-barrier starting point. A compact bullet or a clitoral vibrator involves minimal setup and gives immediate results.
Are toys designed for lesbian couples different from regular sex toys?
No — toys marketed specifically for lesbian couples are typically just repackaged standard toys. Buy based on function, not marketing language.
